you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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