everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
