did you get engaged???
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Randomize
