Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
