if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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