everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
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It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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