I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
