The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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