A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
