this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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