Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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