No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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