theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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