I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
