Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
