i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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