I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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