she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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