I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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