he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
