I seem to have left my pride at pride
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
COCAINE IS GR8
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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