New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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