I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
