The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
