giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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