i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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