ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
