Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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