You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
