His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Never underestimate the power of titties
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