Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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