my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
