yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
