Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
