Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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