I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
