Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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