It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize