Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
