i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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