Can i not drive my cunt home
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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