Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
