Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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