i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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