Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
