So drunk its hurt
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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