He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
