Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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