you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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