We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
