yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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