I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
