I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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