He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
pray to the hookup gods
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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