you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
