Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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