You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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