how hairy? two words: wookie tits
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
