it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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