Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
