Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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