I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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